Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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