I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
