He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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