the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
