the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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