I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
