I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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