The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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