i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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