3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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