this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
