Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize