On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
