You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
