i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize