Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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