Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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