He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
