weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
