Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
