didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
