haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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