got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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