so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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