I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
