You really coming over, don't trick.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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