guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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