He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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