Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
