I heard we made out
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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