I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
