Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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