I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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