Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
