tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
