am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize