there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
