i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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