apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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