Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
