Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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