I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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