the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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