he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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