if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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