That's intense
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
