My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
