just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
whose parrot is this?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
