We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
