He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you are never too drunk for berry picking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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