It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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